i'm tired of impressing people. i'm tired of making people happy while forgetting myself. i'm tired of making efforts when i'm just some boy urinating on an electric fence, excuse the imagery.
i had a trial shift at knox for san churro. it was fun, the people are really friendly and it seems like a pretty cool job. i hope they keep me on and hire me.
life is okay.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
a place where the bottles are full and the girls are empty.
its been a while.
my minds been too scattered and unorganised lately like a splatter of stars in a racing galaxy.
adding to this is like spilling my thoughts and caressing my thoughts future past and present into a malleable form. i like the way it feels to pour my thoughts into the keyboard and lift the weight of the world off of my shoulders and chest.
i keep on hurting myself in stupid ways lately. yesterday i burnt my mouth on the baked beans and toast i made myself for dinner. haha yep, im man enough to call that dinner. after 6 pieces of toast i was convinced it was enough. earlier that day i also stacked in my room trying to walk over my bed - my foot got hooked on my bed sheets like hard drugs and i ended up on my bedroom floor wondering why in 18 years i could never get the hang of walking properly.
still flying that flag for the lonely and it just feels like im a bag with a whole in the bottom. and i just keep on feeling empty and drained.
i worked all last week, and i should be getting my bank filled by lots of money so i can roll in it.
after the grand final on saturday i'm kinda disappointed that geelong didn't win. gary ablett jr is such a freak at football, his team deserved to win. i just dont like buddy franklin at all, i just dont like his vibe at all.
went to prahran hotel for the work party on sunday. never drinking again. free drinks all afternoon and i became too friendly with 2 shots of bacardi 151. it smelt like metho and burnt like fire in my mouth. everyone who i bring it up with knows that its pretty much just a guarantee to be spending the next hour kneeling in a cubicle throwing up. i passed out in a bed and tried to hard to throw up though. luckily im made of steel and managed to hold it all in.
played the biggest show yet, with the getaway plan last friday.
was pretty breathtaking. the overwhelming thing was the screams of people in between the starts and ends of songs. the sound up on stage wasn't too great though, the sound i got back tended to be all warped and judging the right key was so difficult. think it showed from the feedback that the vocals were a bit off. ups and downs. no matter, the performance was a step up i think. got some amazing photos that i still cannot believe are of me when i look at them.
i felt such a rush up on that stage last friday. my heart was racing, my heartrate jacked up so high. i wore the rush like a jumper afterwards and i didnt even feel the cold outside. it felt amazing to see the familiar faces along with some new ones, singing back the words to me. some of the words wrong, haha but still singing behind the barrier.
just in the aftermath of it its beautiful to see people coming together with our music. sounds stupid and 'live aid' ish but i dont care. its a good feeling.
might leave it there for now.
off to sleep on sand, dreams and ships.
my minds been too scattered and unorganised lately like a splatter of stars in a racing galaxy.
adding to this is like spilling my thoughts and caressing my thoughts future past and present into a malleable form. i like the way it feels to pour my thoughts into the keyboard and lift the weight of the world off of my shoulders and chest.
i keep on hurting myself in stupid ways lately. yesterday i burnt my mouth on the baked beans and toast i made myself for dinner. haha yep, im man enough to call that dinner. after 6 pieces of toast i was convinced it was enough. earlier that day i also stacked in my room trying to walk over my bed - my foot got hooked on my bed sheets like hard drugs and i ended up on my bedroom floor wondering why in 18 years i could never get the hang of walking properly.
still flying that flag for the lonely and it just feels like im a bag with a whole in the bottom. and i just keep on feeling empty and drained.
i worked all last week, and i should be getting my bank filled by lots of money so i can roll in it.
after the grand final on saturday i'm kinda disappointed that geelong didn't win. gary ablett jr is such a freak at football, his team deserved to win. i just dont like buddy franklin at all, i just dont like his vibe at all.
went to prahran hotel for the work party on sunday. never drinking again. free drinks all afternoon and i became too friendly with 2 shots of bacardi 151. it smelt like metho and burnt like fire in my mouth. everyone who i bring it up with knows that its pretty much just a guarantee to be spending the next hour kneeling in a cubicle throwing up. i passed out in a bed and tried to hard to throw up though. luckily im made of steel and managed to hold it all in.
played the biggest show yet, with the getaway plan last friday.
was pretty breathtaking. the overwhelming thing was the screams of people in between the starts and ends of songs. the sound up on stage wasn't too great though, the sound i got back tended to be all warped and judging the right key was so difficult. think it showed from the feedback that the vocals were a bit off. ups and downs. no matter, the performance was a step up i think. got some amazing photos that i still cannot believe are of me when i look at them.
i felt such a rush up on that stage last friday. my heart was racing, my heartrate jacked up so high. i wore the rush like a jumper afterwards and i didnt even feel the cold outside. it felt amazing to see the familiar faces along with some new ones, singing back the words to me. some of the words wrong, haha but still singing behind the barrier.
just in the aftermath of it its beautiful to see people coming together with our music. sounds stupid and 'live aid' ish but i dont care. its a good feeling.
might leave it there for now.
off to sleep on sand, dreams and ships.
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